I am married to a wonderful man who is very good to me. However I see some red flags that have caused me wonder if he is gay. He is an EXTREME homophobe. When we got married and he moved his things into my house, he had way more kitchen appliances and gadgets than I did. He is into designer clothes too. He doesn’t mind watching chick flicks either, which is something I am really not into. Some other things that raise concern are he doesn’t like to perform cunnilingus, which I find extremely unusual for a man. I have never heard of a man who doesn’t like to do that. He acted grossed out when I brought that subject up to him. And, when we do have sex, it is over in less than 5 minutes. He gets his part over and he is done. It could be weeks before we have sex again after that. I have gotten to the point where I don’t even want to have sex with him because I feel like he doesn’t care about my desires. Does this sound like a man who may be gay and just doesn’t want to admit it.
12 Responses to “Could My Husband Possibly Be Gay.”
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His is not in love with you. If he doesn’t like to give you cunnilingus, it doesn’t mean he is gay.
How old are you. You are not fit to be married. Your marriage life sounds materialistic based on sex and the objects that surround you. Do you even think before getting married .
It’s possible. Sounds like you want a ‘manly man’ and he is a sissy. Work on him and try to see if you can bring the beast out in him.
Sounds gay to me.
Sounds like a woman who was so eager to get married that she did not take time to observe the man. Surely you went to his house before he moved in with you.didn’t you see his appliances and gadgets then. Anything is possible.but you have not said anything definitive that would say he is gay.
Plenty of straight men fit the description you gave.he may or may not be gay, but I can’t imagine why you didn’t know these things about him before you married, and thus avoided a situation that you found less than ideal.
Couples counseling would be a good next step.if not just parting ways, because he sure doesn’t sound into you (no matter if he’s into men or not).
Women move way to fast into relationships nuff said
Had too check out the word cunnlingus .Why people can not say muff diving I never know .But to answer your question .Because a man will not lick out the velvet purse It doe’s not make him a bandit .Nothing worse than a smelly muff So make sure it is clean .You should ask him to try a 69 .that is where you both do the business .Then you may just get a tongue torpedo if you are doing him at the same time
This really is a great question, and takes a lot of courage to ask. Anyhow, It seems as though your husband isn’t homosexual, and is straight. I believe he watches chick flicks and has many kitchen appliance gadgets, because of the fact that he has a feminist part of him that just wants him to be free spirited and just likes to experience new dimensions of life. Another way to tell if he is feminist is the fact of his favorite colors. If his are the same as yours, it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s gay, but that he just is having a difficult time expressing his feelings. Hope this helps with your husband troubles.
The problem in this society is that it is WAY too hung up on sex as a measure of identity or character. What a debaucherous way we live. Has it ever occurred to you that perhaps [1] this man has more regard for the act of sexual intercourse than merely an activity of pleasure. [2] that perhaps he knows that he is a man and that his sexual energy is his life which he has only a limited amount, and should not waste wantonly. [3] That sexual energy is by any ethically existential standard to be reserved for bestowing the gift of awareness (procreation), and that children should be conceived in love. [4] That perhaps your vagina is not his favorite vegetable-And may not taste or smell all that great (to him).[5] That maybe you’re lousy in bed anyway (and since you don’t mention fellatio as any effort on your part to arouse him I don’t see why you’re complaining about him not going down on you). These along with a myriad of other possibilities which neither of you appear to have communicated between yourselves before you even start talking about ‘homosexuality’ or ‘bisexuality’ (another possibility). Trick him into watching a gay video- then you’ll know, but still not for sure. Maybe he’s quite heterosexual but just not that interested in sex.
I doubt he’s gay. A reason to suspect he is gay would be he finds other men attractive. He sounds like a big sissy boy who is afraid of the poon.
Time warp.
I was in a somewhat similar situation years ago, and the deep scar that hurt my soul still stings.
The reason being.you get to the point where you are being rejected as a woman, daily, someone cares more about themselves that being willing to please and do things to make you happy, rejects your advances and sex ends up feeling like like a sick thing and you end up doing a number on yourself thinking you are the problem.so if only you were “thinner, nicer, etc.etc.things would be better. No. This is not the norm honey.
For me.it never changed. 2 years he wouldn’t touch me after what you shared in your version.
I had a ton of love and loved sex.so what happened. He wasn’t gay, but was extremely emotionally messed up big time and had a medical condition (unknown) and he was extremely self-centered. He was shut down. No matter how much I loved him.it didn’t matter.
Your husband could be gay, yes. He could simply be in massive denial too.
Red flags are always there for a reason. Always. I feel you must keep investigating this. Some guys are just more fem and enjoy life that way. I would have some serious talks with him.don’t corner him, but keep talking about it and in any relationship you have to be able to be heard and understand and find a balance of needs being met between you.
You don’t want to stay in something where your self esteem starts plummeting and deep down inside you think something is wrong so you blame yourself. This is not your issue.it is HIS.
I would rev up where he is, check for any other signs of being gay(affairs).so many closet gay men get into marriage to be the norm, want children but are fooling around on the side because they can’t admit it to themselves what they really are. Nothing wrong with being gay.only lying about it and staying in a marriage based on lies and having an unhappy wife is not okay.
I feel for you. When you talk to him about your relationship and about the sex part (don’t accuse of him of being gay).but about what is going on and how much it hurts etc.really watch his body language.stay open for the red flags and honor them.
Are you happy in every other way.Then sex is the only issue and you can focus on ways to bring yourselves closer if he is open. You must find out how much he loves you.
Best wishes to you.I know this won’t be easy. You are worthy of great love and affection.don’t ever forget that.
One thing I learned.staying in pain didn’t mean I was strong. Getting out of the pain.did.
(If it comes to that).