Comments on: I am writing a book and I am almost done with the first chapter. What do you think.

By: Please, use the SEARCHBAR

Please, use the SEARCHBAR — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

That was one giant info dump.

Work on showing, not telling. Incorporate that info into the storyline.

Also, your spelling and grammar need some work.

By the way, if your main character is planning on going to college in the fall, applications should have been submitted by the fall of her senior year.

By: hippitty 6

hippitty 6 — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

it sounds okay. it’s a little wordy. it didnt really grab my attention.

By: MysteryTwilighter

MysteryTwilighter — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

It is very descriptive, but it sounds more like her diary, but I really like it so far. =D (and you should add more puncuation. like to the lists.)

By: indie_reader_and_writer

indie_reader_and_writer — Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000

Okay, first of all, it’s a good thing you’ve started writing if you want to become a writer.
But it feels like a lot of information that doesn’t really have a reason for being there. If you put something in, or write something, it should have a reason for being there, or else, it has no point and is a waste of time.
It’s a good first attempt but you need to find a purpose for writing so it’s not all just thoughts without any reason for being there. Remember you have a reader who you need to keep interested and will be questioning things in your writing, at least if they’re an involved reader.
Hope this helps. Don’t feel discouraged, every writer has a first try. You just need to work at it so it doesn’t stop here and it gets better.