My fiancé and I have finally decided to have a wedding registry. I was not really sure about having one in the beginning, but my friends all said it was a good idea, and I asked here on Yahoo, and you guys all told me it was good idea, so we decided to do it. Finally we have chosen a store to have it at, but my fiancé is not interested in any of the items that are generally on a registry. Obviously there are things that are not appropriate to have, like video games or clothes, which he would choose if it were “allowed.” It’s supposed to be household items, right. But he isn’t interested in dishes, sheets, towels, or even “manly” things like power tools or yard stuff, and he already has brand new BBQ equipment. He mentioned that a friend’s recent registry was all “girly items for the kitchen” and he thought it was boring. So I’m trying to think up other items that he might like more. He travels a lot for work, so I’m thinking things like luggage and that kind of idea, or maybe stuff for the car. Anything to get him more interested in the whole thing and making it less girly. But I’m sort of dreading the appointment with the store, because I’m afraid it’s going to be a horrible experience that causes more arguments. I personally think it could be fun to choose all this stuff, but I don’t think he will enjoy it with the attitude he has towards it so far, but I can’t tell him not to come and participate. I want to do it together, since this is for both of us. Whenever I even bring up the subject he clearly gets frustrated and I don’t know what to say or do. Can anyone give me some suggestions or advice. Thank you so much.
I neglected to mention that we have been living together for 7 years and basically have “everything we need” for day-to-day stuff. That’s part of what is making this difficult.
19 Responses to “Wedding registry question.”
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Bath and Beyond is good, Sears or Target.
My fiance had a blast doing the registry-they give you a scanning gun-so, let him have that.the scanning thing could be fun.I guess it depends on what you guys need. Would he be interested in picking out things for a bar. or garage stuff. I can understand how lots of the kitcheny stuff can be a little boring if that’s not your thing.
My hubby and I needed EVERYTHING.(but he’s way into cooking and entertaining, so he got a kick out of picking stuff out with me.he glazed over when it came to decorative pillows and embroidered towels. lol).but we handled as much as a few hours could give us before we got overwhelmed, and I added the rest online.
I’m sorry your fiance isn’t more interested in helping.if he firmly says that he’d rather not help, then you might have to do this alone-bring your momma and have it be a fun girl time. No matter who is with you, don’t let it be a bad experience-you are right. It can be a lot of fun.
Ha ha. I’m sure if my HTB had it his way a Playstation 3 would be at the top of our registry, so I understand what you’re going through.
Luggage is a good option, other ideas I can give you:
1. Cooler household appliances that he might actually like
2. Camping equipment or other things that couples can do together
3. Board games or other entertainment items
4. Pub style (or other) decor for the basement or other parts of the home
To be honest, you’re not going to get him that excited about this. The good thing is it seems like he already understands what needs to be on there so that minimizes the chance of the arguments you’re worried about.
Then tell him to make a list of things he may want to register for and go without him. I know its important to you to have the experience together, but he clearly doesn’t want to do this.
I have found a man’s attention span in any store is about 15 minutes, unless its toys for him(TV’s, computers, video games, etc).
The luggage idea is good, since he travels. But if he clearly doesn’t want to make the effort then do it without him. It may be easier this way. Bring the list of stuff you chose and let him make changes to it to get him involved. He may come around, it may be just the time spent in the store deciding on things that he hates.
Good Luck.
I registered at Home Depot
Unfortunately, the registry is for setting up house, so it’s going to be girly. If he isn’t interested, dont force him. Alot of men choose not to be a part of the registering process, it’s normal and you shouldn’t feel as if he isn’t into the marriage because of this.
I would stay away from personal items for him, like car gear, but have you thought about some tools. You dont have to only register at one store, you can have him set up a registry at Sears or Home Depot for items that he would need for fixing up your home. Circular saws, drills, screwdrivers, etc.
As for your visit, if he insists that he wants to go, try to use the tactic of “You are going to have to be eating on these plates for the next 50 years, I want to make sure you like looking at them too” This was how my husband thought when we registered and it helped alot that his mindset was like this, we got really into choosing, it took all afternoon and we had a lot of fun.
Good luck.
Home Depot has a gift registry. When my husband and I got married, we were moving into a home that needed some repairs and I have been married before, so I have all that “girly” stuff. We registered for the tools we would need and the material we would need to fix the house. Our family and friends thought it was a good idea and totally supported our idea. We got the house fixed up with wedding gifts.
You can register for tools, lawn care items and camping/hunting items for your guy. Just think of it loke this.the more tools you receive the more handyman things he can do around the house.
It’s perfectly acceptable to register for these items. If someone has a problem with buying them, then they will choose one of your more “girly” items.
Don’t do the wedding registry,they are so tacky and insulting to your guests,no matter how many people are doing it today,it’s very bad taste.Would you say to your guests “You can come to my wedding if you bring me a toaster” .It feels like the same thing to me,just be happy on that day and don’t put so much emphasis on gifts,some of the people who love you may not be able to afford a gift at all ,they should be just as welcome as someone bringing a fat check,forget about what presents you may get and look at your loved ones around you on your wedding day
Kitchen stuff might be boring, but necessary. Does he want to eat on paper plates. This isn’t about what new cool things he wants, it is about supplying your house.
People who think food (kitchen) and hygeine (bathroom) are beneath their interest don’t deserve to enjoy food or hygeine. Tell this twit to go out and live in the woods on roots and berries for a few months and when he starts to understand that food and hygeine are for BOTH genders, not just women, he can come back and live among civilized human beings. If he doesn’t enjoy going to the store with you, then he can stay home and pout. Tiny children receive toys as gifts but older children understand that gifts like bed linens enrich the family.
We had the same problem too. We just asked for gift cards (In the form of a cute poem) of any amount (Included Visa gift cards). They are free to buy anything they want but we didn’t want to fill up a registry when chances are we wouldn’t use anything we got.
A wedding registry is meant to be for things to help you embark on your new lives together. To make a home a home, and a couple a couple. If you go to Target.com and register there they have suggestions for you and I saw things on there like GPS, Bedding, Glassware, etc. Is he a drinker. Tell him to pick out a martini set or a ‘rocks’ glass set. Does he like a sport. You can put things on there that will include in his hobby.
Well, laugh out loud, if dishes and glasses and towels and silverware are girly, he is going to be hungry, thirsty, and wet. Maybe he needs to be told that he will be using those things, and I guess that makes him girly, by his own words, LOL again.
You did not say where you registered, but I hope it was at one of the discount department stores.
Small appliances like a popcorn maker, ice cream machine, shaved ice machine might appeal to him. I see no reason not to ask for guy things like a nice cooler 6pack or bigger sized. Board Games like Monopoly or Scrabble would be fine, electronics ok, look for things that last, will be used and cherished for a long time. A Brita water filter, bar accessories. But you are right, no clothes, no CDs, no video games.
Seriously, the menfolk have only recently been involved in the registry process, in that kinder gentler time when my generation was marrying, the girls did all the registry picking out, the guys would not have been caught dead doing that, if they even went they would have found the TVs and could be collected on the way out the door.
My opinion. If he does not want to go, and does not understand this is not an opportunity to stock up on socks, leave him at home. Ask nicely what he might like to have, give him options of the type of things that are appropriate for wedding presents. Make him understand that buying shirts is not appropriate, this is not his birthday, people will not only not buy him clothes, but will be insulted if they see that on a list. And he will get made fun of. Let him pick out some luggage, that is totally acceptable.
People are buying things to help with the marriage, trying to make it good. A video game does not do that. A set of CorningWare casserole dishes with lids will.
If he is going to pout and argue and make your registry experience miserable, leave him home. This is supposed to be a fun time, and if he can’t do that, then he can stay home with his video games. Suggestion: If you or he think he must go, take a strong willed outspoken female relative with you. Anyone who would not hesitate to tell him off and send him home if he is being a jerk.
Dear, if he is being such a jerk about this, he can’t give you a couple hours to be a bride and enjoy yourself, how have you stood the last 7 years with him. Sorry, just being honest.
Hope the rest of the wedding planning goes better for you.
It’s not supposed to be anything in particular; and you can register with several stores. I registered on Amazon.com, and being that my husband had no interest in the registry, I just picked a bunch of items I wanted/needed. I had books on there, video games, kitchen items, even a guitar. A lot of people got me kitchen stuff, which was great. Some of it was silly things like an ice-cream maker (we really wanted one). But a few people gave books, and my brother-in-law got us videogames. It’s all good.
I think, the only item my husband asked to add to the registry was the latest and greatest dual-core Mac at $3,000 - as a joke.
Don’t sweat it too much - look at several stores and register for stuff that is either useful or fun.
Register at a place that has electronics, that stuff is for your home as well. There is no right or wrongs items that you can register for. If he’s going to be such a pill to register with, take him to the initial appointment for an hour or so and then you go and add whatever you want either online or at a later date.
PS, sound like your fiance needs to grow up a bit though and become an adult, video games. Seriously.
You can ask for things that you simply want. I know a lot of couples do it. The man needs to be able to get things that he wants as well. Especially if you already have other items. I would just suggest throwing some housewares in and do not make your registry items too expensive.
First tell him to stop being a snot. This is not a little kids wish list. The purpose of the registry is for things you will need in life.not toys.
My only opinion is maybe camping gear, luggage or some sort of outdoors item. If I say video games and stuff on a registry I would not get you anything. He really needs to grow up and realize that it is for things needed not necessarily wanted. Good luck with him.
You don’t have to register. I was 27, my husband was 35 when we married and we had the house and everything to go with it. I didn’t want a bridal shower so we skipped that whole process. It was awesome. And what was best, all our guests gave us money instead -worked out perfectly.