I found out yesterday that I may have preeclampsia and I find out on Monday or Tuesday with all the testing they did if I do. I am 35 weeks along.
My problem is my husband. He leaves for a construction job at 5:30 am and gets home around 8 pm every night. I usually (about 4 out of 5 nights) have supper cooked and the house clean. I usually try to relax on the weekend because I watch our 21 month old daughter all day.
He never does anything around the house during the week, and I can understand with all the hours worked why. The ONLY thing I ask him to do is to clean up after himself and clear off the table to the kitchen after supper while I give our daughter a bath. He also puts her to bed every night because it’s the only thing he really gets to do with her on a daily basis. The thing is he DOES NOT do what I asked of him. He leaves his clothes EVERYWHERE, he leaves his dishes (including sharp knives) on the couch if he eats when our daughter is in bed, he piles the dishes ON the table with food still on all the plates and I’m quite tired of finding all the stuff I’ve organised all messed up. He doesn’t lay out his clothes the night before, he’d rather walk into the room about 5 times to find everything he needs and he makes his lunch at 5:30 when he’s sopposed to leave at 5:35 in the morning. Wouldn’t it make more sense to make it the night before. He claims he works hard.
On the weekends he goes into his ‘work area’ in the basement and fiddles with crap until HE’s done. Meanwhile I have to clean the cat litter out or it’d get done MAYBE once every 3 months. I also get to take the dog for walks because he’s to lazy to the the thing out. I don’t want the dog and it’s HIS dog. When he does clean, he throws everything into a box, or the sink and expects me to sort it all out. I find tools, nails and other odd assortment of junk that is easily accessable to our daughter.
3 times this week he has asked for help to make his lunch because he’s running late, meanwhile he’ll lay in bed for another 10 minutes after the alarm goes off. He gives himself 20 min to get his shit ready for work, shower and make a lunch.
Personally I’m getting VERY tired of cleaning up after him like another child. I tell him that I can’t do it being 35 weeks pregnant and that I can’t handle it. I get told that he works hard and so should I. I find taking care of our 21 month old easier than him. Also it takes me about an hour a day to clean all the crap that he doesn’t that he could do in a matter of minutes for himself. That hour a day could give me MORE time with our daughter.
When I do clean the house spotless and organized, he’s good for about a day then something slips. On the weekends he NEVER cleans anything, but will cook and leave me a pile of dishes to clean up. On top of that he doesn’t do diapers or spend time with our daughter. I’m starting to wonder if being a single parent would be easier.
Thanks for listening to me. :S
LOL it’s spotless because I clean after she goes to bed sometimes. It’s only like that until about 3 hours after she’s up and then it’s all downhill from there 
7 Responses to “I need some husband insight AND help at 35 weeks preggo.”
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Hey you are not alone:)
don’t worry I am 27 weeks along and i didn’t do no house work for 2days and oh my god the state of my house. I am sick of it too
Men they don’t understand dont even bother telling him your pregnant you cant keep up because i dont think they understand at ALLLLLLL
~MeL~
This is common among husbands. They think that if they bring in the money that they don’t have to do shit around the house. Talk to him about it, but keep in mind that talking to him about it may not change anything. For some reason they were brought up to think that it’s the woman’s job to keep the house clean and take care of the babies. I’m dealing with the same thing with my husband and even after talking to him about it he still does jack. I guess it just takes time. How do you keep the house spotless with a baby. I have a hard time doing that with my 13 month old running around thinking everything is hers.
you need to have a serious talk with him you can’t be doing all that work especially you being pregnant. I am sorry but you need to B*tch slap your man and scream some sence into him. It’s sad how he is so irresponsible. Have a serious talk with him and tell him that this cannot continue it is completely unacceptable and you are sick of it. You are pregnant you can’t be doing that. if anything HES the one that should be doing that for you.
I’m so sorry, I can’t even imagine how hard it must be to be sore and exhausted from pregnancy, caring for a young child, and completely running a household.
It sounds like your husband has a problem with organization in his life and that he expects you to pick up whatever slack he can’t handle on a given day. Thing is, those are inconsistent expectations, he doesn’t appear to understand your needs, and the organization of your house is only going to get more difficult when your baby second is born.
Have you tried writing up a family schedule. something to make these issues more visual. maybe then he’d see that some of his time on the weekends could be spent cleaning and that he’s using his time in the evenings very inefficiently if he’s not at all prepared for the next day.
good luck.
I think its a man thing. I can clean the house and my husband let me sleep in the next morning to wake up to a messy house and food thrown everywhere. Its like he gives the kids food and pays no more attention to them.
well that sounds like men full stop, im expecting my third and wen my boyfriend gets home from work im just putting kids to bed , then having to clean the house and make his tea then most the time he either goes out or as his mates round, so we dont even get to for ourselfs, god knows how i got pregnant,lol
That sucks that you have to live like that. And wow.he had the nerve to tell you that since HE works hard, YOU should, too.
WTF. Why don’t HE try being pregnant and do all the stuff YOU are doing.
It sounds to me that he really doesn’t care about your well-being.just his own.
Being married means looking out for one another and trying to make life easier for the other, as well as CARING.
I’m sure you’ve already tried talking to him before. He hasn’t gotten the clue yet. The only way to open his eyes is to send him packing. I know it’s tough since you are so far along in your pregnancy AND you have a daughter who is almost 2. But he needs to open his eyes. He has no idea how hard you have it.
I’ve been in your situation before, and I didn’t send my hubby packing, but he got the clue once I told him I wanted to leave.
Good luck with whatever you do.